Fuzzy Healing

I keep meaning to post pictures of my vacation, but when you see the pictures of what I have been doing, you'll see why that has taken a back seat. :)

Last week, I went to pick up Chicken Kitties ashes from the vet. They had been so amazingly kind and supportive and I was so glad to have had them put down Chicken, since it had to be done. Upon picking her up, Mary had let me know there was a gift in there for me - It was a baked clay tile with her little kitty paw prints. In addition to my baby's ashes in a beautiful wood box, I had her tiny ant-feet to remind me of her too. I of course bawled to no end, but it was an amazing way to say goodbye, but still keep her close. I decided I needed to go run errands to clear my mind, and opted to get some big worms for the chickens to nibble on. They have been producing so well, I thought, why not give them a treat. As I walked up to the pet store, I saw something that made my heart melt and break all at the same time-a fuzzy, itty bitty ball of cuteness. The paper on the cage said that he was abandoned, and was only 6 weeks old. He was underfed, but loving. I paused, longingly at the blue eyed calico mess, looking so tiny in his big cage, and then went on in for worms for the girls. On my way out, I asked if I could hold him, and he was the cutest, howlingest thing ever. My eyes were still red from crying over Chicken Kitty, I wasn't ready.

All that night I thought about his furry little face, and wondered, "Why hadn't anyone adopted him!?". The next morning I convinced Nick to go look at him before a quick hike and sea glass hunting. The kitten was still there, looking sad. Lots of people had stopped by, but no one wanted him. Nick wasn't sold on the idea, he was still grieving Chicken, and his own kitty leaving to go live with his old roommate. I put him back and we went on our hike. Post hike, Nick and I stopped at the Tin Room in Burien for a beer, and discussed the kitty. Nick had decided he was ready and could see that I was too, so we decided to go look one more time. We were both so smitten and decided I needed to have him. I feel really fortunate to have found an abandoned furry, and I still miss Chicken Kitty every day, but it's nice to know that a little guy has a good home. So without further adieu, I introduce: Iggy:

Its hard to be sad, when I look at his tiny face, and hold his 1 lb, 3 oz body. It reminds you to just be happy and to live in the moment.

I hope all of you are doing as well as I have been-my best to you all!
Raina

An update

I really need to blog more! This has been a mixed-bag week. Had an amazing vacation with a new guy I am dating, but came back to immense sadness and hard decisions.
I spent 5 days on the road travelling from Washington, to Northern California to the Redwoods and then made my way up, via the I-5 corridor back home, stopping at cute hotels and little shops. I found retro fabric, and vintage pillowcases hand embroidered with people on them, so adorable. I realized how much I adored the new guy, and how wonderful of a road trip pal he was.
Sadly, I came home to a dying cat, Chicken, who I decided to have put to sleep this morning. She was only 8, which made this decision that much more difficult. She shouldn't have been taken away so early. She was a finicky, snugly, blue skinned, and green-eyed princess, who came into my life as a last-ditch effort to save a failing marriage. Its like another chapter of that old life just ended.
Its hard already, not seeing her perched in her favorite spots, and sad not hearing her walk around. I know the pain will lessen as the days go on, but I am still so heartbroken to have had to let her go so soon. I still have her best friend, and Christmas present, Charlie, and Mia, as well as the two chickens outside. Its just not the same.
Our last moments were good, we sat in the yard, and Nick held her as we drove to the vet for her procedure. She purred until the last moments and then she went to sleep. The vet was kind enough to let me hold her in my arms, wrapped in a blanket while she passed. I wish so much that I had cherished every moment I had with her more. I won't get that time back, but I am so grateful for the time that we did have together. I am so happy to have been able to be there with her, holding her and petting her in her final moments, versus waiting for her to die alone.
I miss her terribly, but I know that letting her go was the best thing I could have done for her. Goodbye Chicken Kitty, I love and miss you more than all the fishes in the sea.

Onwards and upwards...

I feel like I always start blogs the same way...its been a while since I last posted. Which tells me a few things-I've not been crafting, and I've not been as productive as I'd have liked.

Its not to say I haven't been doing anything-I made an adorable little apron, and have sewn a few small projects...I even picked up the last of the needed fabric for my quilt top I have been working on for eons.

Lately, life has been a little chaotic, with the end of a long term relationship, the start of new friendships, and community/volunteering projects. It seems for a while, all the energy I had went into not being at home and not thinking about the change in my life.  It's settling down and I am getting used to a bigger house, and have started to spend more time and energy into making my home my own again. Its been a transition, but it's exciting. I'm learning to not plan every single aspect of my life, and be OK with what life brings me each moment. It's been nice letting go, but it sure does take energy to not over-think everything in life! :)  I just keep thinking that life has a bigger plan for me, then what I had originally planned.

The past few weeks have been spent cooking with friends, watching the chickens, shopping for new veggie starts and picking paint colors for my 3rd bedroom, which will be my new office. It's also been spent trying to decide what my old office will be-guest room/craft room, and deciding what that will look like.

I hope that as I settle into this change that the drive for creativity comes back, and I am sure it will. I also plan to blog more, to clear my head and to capture the creativity that seems to be eluding me lately...keep visiting, dear reader, I'm sure there will be something here soon for you!


Cheers,
Raina


“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu
"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

It's really about time

That's a fitting title for todays post-it's way past time for a new blog posting, and it seems that lately time has been flying by!

The holidays were wonderful, and I was able to get down to Napa, San Fransisco and Sacramento to see family and have some delicious wine. Not a bad way to spend Christmas!  Here's Conor and I at one of the wineries :)

Work has been quite busy, so I havent been as craft-oriented as I would have liked. That hasn't stopped my planning however!  I have been really lucky to get my hands on some beautiful antique quilts, two of which need repair. I'm excited to get started on that, as well as finishing a couple of sewing projects I had started before work got busy.

There's some vintage photo/altered art projects that I have been sketching out-combing different media to make a framed piece of art.  I'll be sure to get some pics up of all that I am working on, as I get to it.

One thing I did want to share, is a great blog-thediydish.com-they have so many fun projects, and they don't take a lot of time or energy! These are my go-to gals when I need a crafty pick me up, but only have a small amount of time in which to play!  Here's their latest video :)

Well, it's time to get back to sewing, and relaxing-hope you are all doing well!

Raina

My boobs, which have nothing to do with art.

Lately, there has been an influx of cancer around me. 2 family members have been going through it-whether its the diagnosis process, or in the case of my aunt, surgery X2 and treatment. A couple friends have gone through surgery as well recently. I just got a call from an agency to help low income women who are going through breast cancer. It reminded me I wanted to write something.
I don't even know how to write this blog.
I could tell you-go get checked, male or female. Start early. Check often.
I could tell you my story.
I could tell you how art got me through my tests.
I could tell you how scared I am for myself, my mom and all the members of my family.

So I will.

I'll start with the common sense.
Go get yourself checked. Women-do your self exams monthly (I use http://www.checkyourboobies.org/ to remind me). Men, check your ladies, too. Ladies: Go make sure you get your yearly exams. No body image concern you have should get in the way of you taking care of yourself. Men, do your exams and follow up with your MD's as well. If something isn't quite right, get it checked out. Its not rocket science.

I lucked out, but I was damn lucky given my family history. My breast health issues were fine-but the long waits and the various exams I had to go through were torture. YOU HAVE TO ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. They tell you that you have to wait for an appointment? No you don't-call every day, ask to be pushed up. They don't want to give you a second opinion? Too bad, They will. I went through three specialists and dozens of phone calls before I got what I wanted.  They don't want to do a sonogram in addition to the mammogram? They can go to hell. Ask for what you need, and deserve.  Know what tests you need for your breast tissue and your age!

Also, don't just sit there-do something. The sitting and waiting for the results will drive you nuts. I happened to go back to crafts-sketching, crotcheting and sewing. I had to keep myself busy. I also started writing again to get what was in my head out. That was just me though.

Lastly, the fear. I'm concerned that the next exam I have won't be flying colors. I'm concerned that after the next surgery and the treatments my Aunt won't get through. I'm concerned for all the people I know. But I am so glad they got in, got checked and got treatment.  I remember being so ANGRY with my mother for not going in for exams. SHE was my best chance at knowing what I was in for. She was selfish for not going in and taking care of herself, as in turn, she was failing to take care of me.
So I told her
And she finally went in for testing.

Women, Men, friends, the like: Get up, take care of yourself, do what you can to be healthy. You're the only you people have, so do what you can to stick around.
Cheers-yours in health
Raina

Order with in the chaos

My friend Jen likes to come into my office. I'd like to think it's because I have cool stuff, and  there are pictures of our adventures on the walls, but that's not the case. She likes my room, she says, because its like a living thing (and I know I am misquoting her as this conversation is usually had after too many drinks). I usually look at her quizzically, to which she replies-"its always changing. I'll come here one day and it looks like a tornado hit it, and then I'll come back and its all picked up, like nothing happened".
I smile, 'cause it's true.
My office is a living, breathing, growing beast. It's the start of my personal photography studio, which hasn't completely taken over my house. Its my fabric studio/sewing area. Its my yarn storing area for knitting projects. It's the bead shop, where I make little necklaces. It's my scrap booking station, where I can make a handmade note for a neighbor who watched my dog, or an employee as a thank you for their hard work. Its my music studio where I pluck at my old guitar and pretend I know what I am doing. It's also my library, where the bookshelves are brimming over with books. Lastly, it's actually my office-where I meet with employees and attend project and other meetings and listen to interventions to ensure my participants are getting a fair deal. It's a big ol box of me-ness.

Right now, that big ol box is a big ol mess, but there's still order in the chaos.  Ask me where my cashmere yarn is, the soft purple with white threads here and there, I can tell you that it is in the closet, second shelf down in the green bin. What about the recipe for the soba salad I make? That's in the Nigella Lawson cookbook, the white one on the top shelf in the first bookshelf.
Much like I know myself, I know my room, but I can tell there's been a lot going on in here-just like in my life. Work has been busy transitioning into my new role, spending time working with block watch stuff, working with the Park organization (go 12th and Trenton), getting healthy again. But I can still see the order in the chaos even there (thank god for calendars!)  That being said, its time for some more order, and less chaos. Even though I am sick, this weekend will be spent thinning out the crafts, finishing up at least one sewing project and hanging up my photography. A little more order just may let me make a little more chaos, and let the whole process start again :)

“Chaos in the world brings uneasiness, but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth.” Tom Barrett

Bigger, Faster, Better! The joys of a new sewing machine

I've had a few sewing machines in my life. First was my mothers' machine. An old beast that I only remember as being slightly yellowed and likely to take off my finger at any moment. It served a purpose in my house for my mom: to make me clothes. For me, it encouraged me to learn hand sewing. I hated that machine, and for the life of me I cannot explain why.  I hand sewed everything I could-quilts, doll clothes, odd-looking stuffed animals. I couldn't get enough. Of course, once I figured out boys were way more fascinating, sewing took a back seat.

My next machine was an old 80's beast that was secured nicely into a desk. It was a salvaged item from my then father in law's garage sale. He had no interest in it, but I did.  I remember having my ex put it in the van to drag it into our tiny little apartment, where it sat. It hadn't been serviced in over a decade, and wouldn't even thread. Defeated, it went into the storage area below our building. When I eventually moved to Seattle, it stayed with the ex after having moved with us 3 times.  I stuck to hand sewing then too.

A few years later I spied a cheap machine at a Target post-turkey day sale. It was less than $100 and I had to go to 3 Target stores to get it. I toted it home and peeked in at the box. I quickly forgot about it after I got my new Subaru. I later opened it up to do a little sewing and crafting. Either something needed mending, or I wanted to make sure it worked. My love of sewing was renewed!

In the past year or two, i have been making blankets, and quilts and have ventured into sewing bags and pants. Its been nice to be a little more self-sufficient, and to have something that is all mine.

Recently my cheap little Singer was starting to annoy me, it wouldn't stay threaded, and it was just a pain to sew through fabrics. I vowed when I could afford it I would buy a new machine. That happened a few weeks ago, after I finished the new fabric cabinet. I bought a Brother machine, with 100 something stitches and 6 types of button holes. It has quilt and embroidery stitches and when programmed can spell my name. Its crazy, and I love it.

I'll be doing more with it, making pot holders and aprons from designs I have sketched, and I'll be bartering with an amazing local seamstress to learn more tricks.  I'm excited, it's a nice contrast to an otherwise busy life.

As I complete projects, I'll post em and show folks what I am up to, I'll also post some of the garden barter pics too, stay tuned.

Yours in craftiness

Raina