Things I am not...

Blame it on last night's trip to Baron, or that its a lazy, sunny Saturday and I have the house to myself, but I am feeling plain lazy. It feels good. I spent my morning reading blogs. There's a lot of awesome ones-check out the side bar, bottom right, for a selection of great blogs I like to follow. Recently, someone asked what I do with my time...I seem to get stuff done, and by all outward appearances, have the whole adult-thing on lock down. I smiled and nodded, wanting to say that I wake up, brew the perfect espresso and go for a morning jog. But instead, I ventured into a discussion of how I actually roll:

• wake up at 7, or...ok, 11,  in the make up I wore last night, in over sized mens pajamas, missing a sock. 
• try to dig myself out of the mound of blankets that I have effectively wrapped myself around in, so I look like a giant Raina burrito (or as I call it, a Rainarito).
• try to find a hair band, or a clippy, to wrangle the beast that is my hair. In real life, I have HUGE hair. Seriously, this thing has a life of it's own, and requires a small army of hair products and a supporting team to keep it strapped down. Its like the Predator of hair.
• Realize 30 mins later I have been wondering around the house with one sock on, but do nothing to either take one off, or search out the missing one.
• Open the fridge to try and decide what to eat for breakfast and whether I can justify pickles as a breakfast. 
• Decide shortly that coffee will work for now, and microwave a cup of what was left from last night.
• Feed the animals, let the dog out on her own, and start up my computer, only to realize the dog is waiting at the door, and I am still missing a sock.

The morning usually goes on like this until I realize I need to eat real food (not pickles, cured meat, or coffee). Luckily, food makes me a little more human (and approachable), and I go about the day as a full fledged adult.

Bottom line: Breakfast is about as far as I got with that discussion before I noticed a look of concern on said friends face, so i quickly shifted the topic. 

Was I always this way?

God no!

I used to think that I had to be the perfect woman. I used to keep a near-perfect house, work full time, go to school full time and come home and put an amazing meal on the table. I paid all of my bills on time, and had cats that wore sweaters. Do you know how hard that crap is to keep up? Bah. On the outside it all looked fabulous, but on the inside I was beat and miserable. 7 years ago when I finally moved to Seattle, I stopped doing all of that. At first I felt guilty and then ashamed. GASP! What will people think!? And then I started going out more and actually living a good life instead of always wanting things to be perfect, and the more I did that, the happier I became. I know I won't ever have a perfect house. There's too much animal fur and crafts for that to happen, but I am ok with that. It's nice knowing that I have my routines, as silly as they may be (or frightful for anyone who has ever seen me fetch the mail with hair flying madly about). And good on those women who can wake up, unhungover every Saturday, ready to take on the world... If that is you? Awesome!  If it's not? Its ok too. No pressure to be that way. 

I still have my OCD tendencies. I hate germs and messes, but I am not going to freak out if things are a mess. So instead of worrying about whether my silver is polished, and my sheets are pressed; I will have this couch on lock down, preparing for a night of fun, be it crafting, hitting up a local brewery or being plain old awesome with friends...still missing a sock. :)

Here's to well-rested weekends, and being ok with a weekend of big hair, missing socks, and pickle-based breakfasts. Oh, and if you have mastery of keeping hair in check and would like to be part of the support staff? Please leave a comment ;)

Raina

Got your goat!

I can't believe it is only Tuesday. TUESDAY PEOPLE!!!  This may be one of the longest weeks ever. It may also be that I am coming off of being sick,and not working a full work week and that I had a great weekend. Meh, either way, Friday sure could hurry up and visit. That would not break my heart.

Speaking of the weekend-it was lovely!
Friday brought around a decision to get a goat. Of course, the decision was spurred on by two things: Beer in an unspecified amount, and this picture from Twisted Vines Farm:

Seriously. How can you not see that face and THAT SCARF and not want him or her?!  Sigh. I convinced my loving and ever so slightly beery partner that i wanted this, nay, NEEDED this goat (or any goat). He reluctantly agreed. Its not 4 full days later, and I still think this little guy may be the coolest thing ever. For the love of Pete, he has a smirk! He's a sarcastic goat with a scarf. Its like he was made for me. Also, he looks very soft...not like cows, which (and no offense to cow lovers) are not soft. At all. It broke my heart to find out cows weren't soft and this was maybe 10 years ago. I am still pretty pissed about that. ;)

But I digress. I did not get said goat. As much as I would love a fuzzy critter crapping in my back yard, I do have neighbors, and a job. I did have some very salient points though, had my drunken decision resulted in goat-buying. For instance, I would tell my neighbors:

• He IS wearing a scarf. He is clearly a civilized goat, not like that sneaky goat behind him!
• He could be a she (I didn't check into it that much), if that were the case, there could be milk.
• If there was milk, then there could be cheese!
• I could make yarn (or is that just sheep? Hmm...it is pretty apparent that I didn't plan this out)
• If its a boy goat, then, he would be fierce and goat-manly and defend things. He could be a security goat.
• He would eat weeds - this may be the only well thought out and truthful item on here.

This list really could go on and on, but I don't know that the above holds many sell-worthy points, other than I really want a goat and will  make up stories about him/her to get to keep it.  So, my thought on it is this: Plan to get a farm. Its been a goal, but I think my desire to have Chewy (yea, the goat has a name, a very fitting one thank you very much!) proves that I should start mapping that out!

So...back to the weekend! 

Saturday was spent crafting and resting up after a long night of goat-plotting. I went to a scrapbooking party with Sarah and Krissie (check her blog out, BTW- http://strictlystampin.wordpress.com/).   Since I was way up north, I decided to hit up Smashing Rubbish vintage goods (http://www.smashingrubbish.blogspot.com), for this-a giant palmistry hand!  I think it goes well with my weird painting and antique typewriter, no?

I saw it on their site and when I found out it was only $18, I had to have it :).  What, you ask, does one do with a giant palmistry hand? Ummm. Well, I could see if a goat was in my future. See? I can find a reason for anything. 

Other highlights of the weekend: In no particular order, or that I should be proud of:

• I may have subsisted on cured meat all weekend. Between the landjager, fish jerky and corned beef, It's no surprise I didn't feel well on Sunday.
• I took this as a sign (possibly from the palmistry hand) that I should rest all day Sunday.
• I got through the backlog of craft magazines that have been sitting on my bedside table
• I discovered the show, "Freaks and Geeks". 

So, what's on tap for this week? Loretta's tonight, to meet new neighbors and have a pint; wine tasting in downtown on Wednesday; some over time at work on Thursday, and Baron-my beacon of happiness on Friday. Between these adventures, I'll also be finishing the binding on the quilt, and starting a embroidery project. 

All in all, I'll call this weekend and the upcoming week a win, goat or no goat. 

Raina

PS-Note: there are no good goat quotes...So insert witty goat based thought here. :)

Pants-big girl and otherwise

Currently, the title of this post is Pants-big girl and otherwise. I'll probably change it by the time I finish jotting my thoughts down. It seems fitting (pun only slightly intended), that I use that title, and here's why:
Pants, in the literal sense: I have been sick the past few days, and have been living in pajamas. Seriously. I haven't left the house since late Sunday and have been working from home. I have big hair, a cough, and it ain't pretty. Be glad you're not here to witness it!
But it also means Big girl pants. There's been change happening, which has required big girl pants to be worn! After 5 (quite) long months, my mom moved into her own place. I am really proud of her for venturing out and getting her own place, but am so, so glad to have my craft room back.

Speaking of....I've almost finished my first quilt. Its not the one I have been working on for eons, but a pretty blue one. After I finish this post, I'll be putting the binding on. I am so excited to see this project done :)

No big news on my end, just a quick germy update :)

Hope all of you are doing well! And hey, look at that, the title stayed!
Cheers,
Raina

Asshattery

That is really the only way that today can be described. Blame it on hormones, too many cookies, or just a lack of patience, today can suck it.  I'm not normally a grumpy person. In fact, I usually get the feedback that my perkiness level could use a little dialing down. Today, I am just in a grumpy mood.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people fail to meet basic expectations-on life, on promises, or just in general at functioning as a entry level adult. It's not really hard-put on your big boy/girl pants, take a shower and get your shit-show on the road. Don't make promises that you can't and won't keep, and don't make promises that are conditional. It makes you..well...It makes you a damn asshat, for a lack of a better word. I seem to be running into situations where when push comes to shove, and grown up decisions are being made, people bail. It happens, but it seems to be happening a lot.

Deeeeeeep Exhale. Ok. Now that's off of my shoulders and out of my head...updates!!!

Now that football season is officially behind us, and the sun has been coming out more, its time to get out and get gardening! I started some lettuce and pac choy this weekend, and started to map out the garden beds. The chickens have been doing their best to keep the weeds in check, and I am enjoying hearing their happy little clucks as they have their dirt bath.

I'm closer to finishing a quilt, but the one that I have been working on for years sits to the side. I think I have hit a place that I am feeling stuck, so I'll probably just put it away to pull it out at a later date.

There's some other changes in the works, but I am not quite ready to get into them, its all good stuff, just waiting for now.

Hope all is well, and your level of asshattery is at a minimum.

Best
Raina

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
P. J. O'Rourke

Oh snow....

Have I mentioned that I love warm outfits? The idea of battling snow to go play drives me nuts, but I do love the idea of warm pretty clothes if I do have to venture out. Here's what I love for this cold snowy weather!

Bring on the snow! by rainaanderson featuring acetate sunglasses

So far...

The tiniest snowflakes are falling on 4-6" of new snow that fell overnight. I am taking a sick day, which annoys me for a couple of reasons:
1. I have so much work to do, which means more work to do tomorrow and Friday
2. There are tiny snow flakes that I should be playing in!  Tiny snowflakes, people. Did I ever mention to you that I have a sled?

The snow will have to wait for the redness and swollen wonkiness that is happening in my throat.

2012 is now 18 days in. So far, its been pretty good.

I have been working on my 2012 list, and my life list-the things that I want to accomplish. I feel like there's always a life inside of me that isn't being fully lived. Being sick reminds me of that, and how much I can't stand sitting still. I'll be posting a new blog shortly, with some pretty pics of a type out goal list, so stay tuned for that.

In the mean time, I feel a nap coming on, as I sit next to a warm fire surrounded by tiny furry bodies.

2011...my review

Oh, 2011. I have so much to say about you, but I have no idea where to start.
You brought innumerable moments of exquisite bliss, soul crushing hardships, sun-filled happiness. Each day, week and month brought something new.

I rang in 2011 in an Irish Pub and hotel room in San Francisco with a man who I believed was the one I would be with for the rest of my life. I was engaged and had found out a few days earlier that we weren't pregnant. We remarked that it was sad, but good timing as we had wanted to go to Napa as part of our bucket list.

3 months later, I lost a friend suddenly, which made me question every decision I had been making. I started to question why my relationship was so complicated, whether I wanted to continue in my current line of work. It made me think about so much. Life was suddenly surprisingly short, and I didn't want to wait any more for things to happen. I put ultimatums on friendships and my relationship, I needed people in my life who could commit to being there, who had the same goals as I did.

Lying in bed Easter weekend, the person I had been best friends with for close to 17 years and I decided to call it quits. Just like that, we were done. It was simple-we just didn't want the same things in life. He hadn't wanted to tell me he didn't want kids as he wanted me, and didn't want to lose me. We cried with each other, not moving, not wanting to admit it was really over. We got up and bought a ham, and cooked one of the best last dinners we would have together.  Some months later, he had a change of heart. I tried to keep him around as long as I could, but I couldn't get past the hurt. 2011 closed with us deciding it would be better to just go our separate ways completely.

2011 brought the realization that my father's PTSD will never be under control, and making the hard decision to cut him out of my life.  It's painful watching the ones you love hurt themselves and others, and knowing that there isn't anything that you can do about it.  I hope that some day he can be a part of my life again, but I'm not holding my breath.

 But 2011 wasn't all bad, oh no!

I had lovely adventures-travelling through Washington, Oregon and Northern California and to Eastern Washington and Leavenworth. And I did get to drink plenty of Napa Valley Cabs.

I was promoted and received a nice raise, a lot earlier than expected. Work was busy, and we launched the Veterans Administration as a major pilot program.

I did crafts, and did some photography, although I didn't do any shows. I committed to making this a goal for 2012 though. I bought vintage and antique cameras, and tried my hand at painting.

I met an amazing man, at a time when my heart didn't want to be open to anyone. He offered me bacon before I even knew his name. He convinced me that I should give him my number, I convinced a stranger that this guy should cater his daughters wedding. I had known him for 2 hours. We went on a first date, ok...let me back up. We scheduled a first date, and I freaked out, so I pushed it out a few days. After all, I had been in a relationship for years. I wasn't ready. He was young. I was a mess. What if I got hurt again? After a quick pep talk from a friend, I jumped. We had our first date. I walked up, he was pacing and he looked nervous. It was cute. I was freaking out. Maybe it wasn't too late to run back to my car...and then he saw me and smiled. It was like seeing someone I had known all my life, and suddenly it was all ok. We sat outside at a local brewery, the sun was shining, and the beer was good. We talked about food, and our lives and what we both did. The conversation flowed naturally, there weren't awkward pauses. He insisted on paying the tab.   I drove him to his house, a cute mint green craftsman. I liked him already. I blared Adele all the way home smiling. I sent my friend a text thanking him for making me say yes to the date. Our next date brought me to his house for a home cooked meal.  He had worked hard to clean the house, threw his roommates out and even borrowed a tablecloth. He gathered flowers from his yard and the neighborhood. We had bacon wrapped dates with blue cheese, and bacon wrapped stuffed chicken. I brought wine. Again, the conversation flowed.

Weeks turned into months, and each day I find myself smiling about how bacon fixed a broken heart. I catch him looking at me, and I smile. I know I am loved and cared for, because of who I am and I am lucky to have found that. Not everyone finds so much love.

Despite the lows, this year was good. After all, how can you appreciate the great things, if you don't experience any hardships? I learned what I am willing to let go of, and what means enough for me to fight for. I learned that I am strong, capable and empowered. I can live on my own, I can do things, and I should never have to hope for the life I want. I have it.

Here's to an amazing 2012, my best to all of you. :)

Raina

“Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light.”  - Jean Giraudoux